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Freedom

I’m Shelz a 31-year old girl, hoping to start over. I live in Luton, UK and have just found freedom. 

Following a rough start and uphill struggle in life, I am finally in a position to take a step back and do what I want to do.  I can finally afford to not work in the traditional sense of the word.   I have to say, the freedom of it is unexpectedly unsettling. 

It’s been a week since I took the decision after my partner suggested it.  I’ve spent the last week in a weird state of limbo, trying to figure out what to do with myself.  I find that cleaning gives me good thinking power, and so I have started every day thinking and cleaning away. 
The purpose of this break from work is to help me finally find some happiness in myself and for myself. I suppose the purpose of this blog is to keep me on track, as well as giving me a chance to share some of the things I hope to accomplish in this time.  

So here are some of the ideas that came to me whilst scrubbing the bottom of my saucepan with screechy wire wool this morning:

  • I want to write my heart out. I always dreamt of being a writer and have scribbled stuff down here and there, but now is the time to do it properly. I will write poems, novels, plays, articles and share them here. 
  • I must get physically healthy. I have neglected my body for so long that I can feel it complaining. I love cycling, swimming and punching my boxing doll and I need to keep those things in my life regularly. 
  • I will focus on my mental wellbeing now that I’m getting the help I need. 
  • I need to show my partner how much I appreciate him and have more fun with him. 
  • I need to reconnect with my family after some difficult times. 

One of my doodles
I have finally found someone who wants to empower me and help me be happy.  I now need to prove that 31 isn’t too old to start being happy.