About Me

  • I work in HE just outside London.
  • I live with PTSD, depression, anxiety and my partner- anger is being evicted, following a verbal notice.
  • I think way too much.
  • I have an addictive need to share my thoughts and I write to avoid overloading those around me with the issues in my head.

I wrote this when I started this blog last summer:

I’m Shelz a 31-year old girl, hoping to start over. I live in Luton, UK and have just found freedom.
Following a rough start and uphill struggle in life, I am finally in a position to take a step back and do what I want to do. I can finally afford to not work in the traditional sense of the word. I have to say, the freedom of it is unexpectedly unsettling.
It’s been a week since I took the decision after my partner suggested it. I’ve spent the last week in a weird state of limbo, trying to figure out what to do with myself. I find that cleaning gives me good thinking power, and so I have started every day thinking and cleaning away.

The purpose of this break from work is to help me finally find some happiness in myself and for myself. I suppose the purpose of this blog is to keep me on track, as well as giving me a chance to share some of the things I hope to accomplish in this time.
So here are some of the ideas that came to me whilst scrubbing the bottom of my saucepan with screechy wire wool this morning:
I want to write my heart out. I always dreamt of being a writer and have scribbled stuff down here and there, but now is the time to do it properly. I will write poems, novels, plays, articles and share them here.

I must get physically healthy. I have neglected my body for so long that I can feel it complaining. I love cycling, swimming and punching my boxing doll and I need to keep those things in my life regularly.

I will focus on my mental wellbeing now that I’m getting the help I need.

I need to show my partner how much I appreciate him and have more fun with him.

I need to reconnect with my family after some difficult times.
One of my doodles

I have finally found someone who wants to empower me and help me be happy. I now need to prove that 31 isn’t too old to start being happy.

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